Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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