im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize