My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She needs sedatives and a leash
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Randomize
