It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
