how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
