So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
operation have a gay friend backfired
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
