Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
