I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
