How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize