What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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