respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
