great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dignity is for republicans.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
