I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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