Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize