She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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