living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
only if we run a train.
done.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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