I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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