margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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