Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize