I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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