I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
