This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can Purell be used as lube?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
