why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
