I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
