I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
