Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have post one night stand depression
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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