is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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