I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
In America we eat man semen.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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