YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
