i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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