the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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