Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
