You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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