if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize