what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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