Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she smelled like a LAN party
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
