I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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