It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
