i already hear my dad disowning me
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
