So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
