he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
