take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
