The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
