i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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