I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
