fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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