I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
