Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
