I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
