go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
