if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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