What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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