pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
