I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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