I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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