just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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