I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
