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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Public safety found my id!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  You took my underwater blowjob virginity.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business

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