Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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