Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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