Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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