i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
