we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
