What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
